To be perfectly clear, my mom’s date of death is unknown. I prefer it this way; in my opinion it should be this way. We don’t know how much time we have so you should live your life to the best of your ability.
It was only during these several years; prior to Alzheimer’s, that my mom began to enjoy life. Yes, she loved her kids, and they brought her great joy; however, life just had a way to dish out ‘treats’ for my mom to gobble up! Let’s just say that my mom didn’t think that life treated her fairly, at all! Can you imagine living 87 years and not being happy for most of those years? My mom was unhappily married for 40 years! 40 years! That seems unbelievable and unbearable but that’s how it used to be.
If nothing else, her final arrangements should be made so as to adhere to her beliefs, and wishes. This is exactly how I spent most of my Monday afternoon. Yes; it’s true, picture me picking coffin styles, colours, and material of coffin and then flowers! We discussed what would be done, what wouldn’t be done, and everything before, during and after. #funnotfun
Long term care residences need to know what to do with the body when someone passes away. They don’t have a holding facility and they need the room to be vacated immediately so as to give it to the next person on the waiting list. It seems cold, and heartless but that’s the way it is.
I’ve brought all of the information home and now must make my final decisions within the next few days, which includes payment. Do you know what a funeral costs these days? Plan on it being a minimum of 12 thousand dollars, give or take several bucks.
The time has come to make; yet again, another decision in the long-term care of my mom. It seems that her floor wants her to be moved to another floor; which is set aside only for Alzheimer’s patients. My mom has entered the late stages of Alzheimer’s and can no longer be with the general aging. This has saddened me greatly, and I’m now faced with having to make the decision to move her. I feel like I have my hands tied behind my back and there is nothing I can do except to go along with it.
The philosopher Plato [c. 400 BC] said, “The old man then, as seems, will be twice a child.”
These words ring true; I have seen them come to life before me! What does this mean? It means that my mom is entering her ‘toddler/infant stage of life’, for the second time! She is becoming toddler-like, infant-like, and then the next stage will be the very final one. This final stage is the stage that I do not look forward to at all. I fear it but I know it’s coming.
Update: The move is complete now; It wasn’t easy but it is complete. Whew! My mom’s new room made is quite the screamer; she annoyingly screams when she’s hungry … and that’s often! There is a whole floor full of people with advanced stages of Alzheimer’s. Some are quiet, some scream, while others are violent. Yes, the final stage of Alzheimer’s is not a fun thing at all.
Alzheimer’s sucks but; then again, so does old age. This has been an ongoing issue and will continue to be. I hate the fact that my mom is going through both. If my mom makes it until June, she’ll be 87 years old. It’s not the age that makes her old, it’s that it’s combined with Alzheimer’s. This horrible disease is debilitating, slowly suffocating the life out of its victims.
Now it’s norm, when we visit, for my mom to smile but to not know who is in front of her. She does however continue to complain about not having money, not owning anything, and not having anything to do. No matter what we take her, she doesn’t want it nor is she interested! She can’t even tell you what she wants! It’s a struggle … it’s confusing … it’s frustrating.
Since I noticed feeling saddened after each visit, and becoming quite depressed, I found myself pulling away. It temporarily eased the pain but it didn’t resolve anything. Guilt is a beautiful thing (say it with sarcasm). The fact of the matter is there’s no right or wrong answer. Nothing makes the situation better at all.
My intention is not necessarily to drag this topic throughout my blog. Although, lately it seems to be all I’m talking about. It’s because it takes up so much of my life.
To my loyal readers: please tell me when this topic is getting boring. Some of you want updates not a book, and I totally get it.