It’s true; over weeks, I have written much about: how I am feeling, about my mom’s Alzheimer’s, her long-term care, and some of the process of clearing out her home.
The truth about Alzheimer’s is that it is a slow, dragged-on mourning state over a death that hasn’t physically happened … yet.
It’s difficult to look into my mother’s eyes and realize that she has no idea who I am. My mom is gone. What remains is a scared child-like senior.
Life certainly is unfair; however, there are many things I have learned along the way:
- material things are just that; you can’t take it with you
- enjoy the time you are given
- say “I love you” when you mean it, even if it feels awkward
- learn about the past; you will be curious about it in the future
- sayings exist for a reason … eg) ‘What goes around, comes around’ … It’s because they have meaning!
I could go on; I’m sure, but I want to get back to Alzheimer’s.
It’s interesting how I don’t hear many people talk about Alzheimer’s but the moment I mention that my mom has it that’s when others say “Oh, I went through that” or “I’m going through that now”. It’s as if Alzheimer’s is being kept hush-hush.
No, not for me! If something I say or share helps someone else then I will be so happy. If I can make it easier for you, I’m hoping that you’ll make it easier for someone else too.
It’s funny how when we go through life’s greatest challenges, we feel like we are alone or that no one else understands. That’s not the case at all. We are not alone; but, we do have to allow others to help us. Help is out there so learn to access it.
As far as Alzheimer’s goes …
Yes, there is government social-type assistance. In Toronto, there’s the CCAC which is a good focal resource. They can give you a list of other resources too, like the Alzheimber’s Society of Ontario. In my mom’s case, she went to long-term care quite rapidly so I didn’t get a chance to access all of the available resources.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: get on the wait lists as soon as you can!
There are wait lists for EVERYTHNG. It’s frustrating because it seems like by the time you actually get to use the resource you’ll probably no longer need it! Having said this, be persistent and don’t give up.